I’ve written elsewhere about the differences between burials and cremations, including some alternative ideas for what you can do with your loved one’s ashes. This article will focus on the two mainstream ways of using the ashes to memorialise your loved one (apart from, of course, keeping them in an urn in your home): ashes scattering and ashes interment.

Ashes scattering

There are a LOT of options when it comes to scattering a person’s ashes, including:

  • on private property such as their home
  • in a public space such as a forest or in the ocean
  • at a memorial park in a specific section designated for ashes scattering.

Remember that when you scatter a person’s ashes, you’ll never be able to visit the actual ashes again. You can visit the place you scattered them, if that’s important to you, but the ashes will literally scatter on the wind.

Private property

Some families like to scatter the ashes at a property that was special to their person, such as their home, perhaps on the garden they had lovingly created. Unlike burial on a private property, which is almost never approved in Victoria, there is no issue with scattering ashes as long as you have the permission of the land owner.

Public space

Some families want to scatter the ashes at a public place that was special to their person or that reminds them of them. This is a bit trickier. There are no State-based regulations, but there are local rules that need to be considered. For example, it is forbidden to scatter ashes on the Melbourne Cricket Ground or at the Royal Botanic Gardens Victoria. You’ll need to get permission from the local council to scatter them at a park or at the beach/in the ocean.

At a memorial park

Most, if not all, of the public memorial parks/cemeteries in Victoria have gorgeous sections set aside for ashes scattering. At some, you can even create a permanent memorial by including a painted message in the park’s Book of Remembrance.

Ashes interment

The word “inter” means to place in a grave or tomb, so this is literally burial of the ashes. In Victoria, ashes interment spots are purchased for a limited period of 25 years (after which it can be renewed or the ashes will be scattered in the cemetery), or in perpetuity.

Again, there are many options when it comes to ashes interment:

  • ashes can be buried in a grave that already has coffins in it
  • they can be interred in wall niches
  • some families choose a spot on a lawn or in a garden with a bronze plaque
  • there are even boulder memorials, tree memorials, water features, and seat memorials.

Many families choose an ashes interment to give them somewhere to visit their loved one.

Interment in an existing grave

Many graves in Victoria can hold up to three coffins plus up to three sets of ashes. This can be a lovely idea for families all wanting to be together in perpetuity. It also works for families where some members wish to be buried and others to be cremated.

Wall niches

Wall niches are available at most, if not all, cemeteries in Victoria. They provide a striking raised position for interring a loved one’s ashes.  The cremated remains are placed within a protected niche covered with a personalised bronze plaque. You can buy either a single or a double memorial. One person’s ashes can be interred and memorialised first, with provision for the addition of the second plaque to remember a couple.

Lawn or garden

Some cemeteries have specific lawns and/or gardens set aside for the interment of ashes. Bronze plaques are placed to memorialise those buried within the garden. It is even possible to set a plaque for someone whose ashes are elswhere, to give the family a place to visit.

Other options

Other options available for ashes interment (or for memorialisation where the ashes are elsewhere) in Victoria include:

The ceremony

Some people choose to simply scatter or inter the ashes, while some choose to have some form of ceremony to accompany the scattering or interment. Often there will have already been a funeral or memorial, and the ashes scattering or interment is a private occasion for close family only.

Personally I tend to keep these ceremonies short and sweet. They’re outside, the weather can be unpredictable, and there often isn’t much in the way of seating. So whether there has been a previous farewell ceremony or not, I tend to advise leaving the eulogy (life story) out of an ashes scattering or interment ceremony. The people in attendance are often close family members and friends and likely know their person’s life story anyway.

Here’s an outline of how I often run these ceremonies:

  • opening quote
  • welcome and introduction, including an acknowledgement of country if requested
  • words of comfort, acknowledging any previous ceremony that has taken place
  • reading
  • personal tributes from guests
  • final farewell
  • interment/scattering

Sometimes we play some music, sometimes not. Any or all of the elements in the above outline can be included; any or all of them can be left out. It all depends on what the family wants.

I’ll often leave everyone at the interment or scattering site. They often need some time together to say goodbye, and I like to give them that opportunity without me staring at them 🙂

As you can see, there are plenty of options to consider when thinking about scattering or interring your loved one’s ashes.

I’d love to chat to you about an ashes scattering or ashes interment for your loved one whenever you’re ready.