Co-presenting a wedding ceremony

Sometimes a couple will want a friend or family member to “marry” them. Many years ago the friend or family member could easily become an authorised celebrant and do the marrying, legal bits and all. It’s not so easy now to become a celebrant, requiring an intensive and expensive Certificate IV in Celebrancy plus lots of time. If people call me about training to become a celebrant to perform one wedding, I tend to talk them out of it. Instead, I talk to them about co-presenting the wedding ceremony with an authorised celebrant like me!

As with many other things celebrant-related, there are as many ways of managing a co-presented ceremony as there are celebrants. I know other celebrants have strong feels about co-presenting that are extremely different from my feelings! But that’s all good; one of the beautiful things about celebrants is we all have different ways of approaching our work! So here’s how I do it.

Please note: I’m pretty clear on my boundaries about what I will and will not provide and do for the price of my co-presenting package. I can of course provide and do extras, but they will be at an additional cost. You can see my current pricing for a co-presenting package here!

Also note: my preference is to be at the actual wedding, providing the legal aspects to the ceremony there. If you’d prefer we can do the legal stuff on another day. In that case you’d just book me for a Legals Only Ceremony and I wouldn’t provide any of the additional resources that go into this package.

Meeting with the couple

I meet with you once before the wedding day to:

• explain the legalities of getting married
• complete the Notice of Intended Marriage (NOIM)
• sight your identity documents, and
• ensure you understand and are comfortable with how the ceremony will work between me and your co-presenter.

Sometimes this meeting is just with you. You might choose to bring your co-presenter along too.

As is my usual practice, I’ll email you a week before the wedding with electronic copies of the documents we’re going to sign on the day. I’ll ask you to check the documents carefully and let me know of any errors. I’ll also ask you to let me know your two official witnesses’ full legal names.

Providing resources

I provide you and your co-presenter with the Ceremony Builder Booklet I give to my Premium Ceremony couples. It has lots of ideas and suggestions of things you might want to include in your ceremony. My hope is that it can act as the basis for your co-presenter to write the ceremony.

I also provide you with my couple’s story questionnaires to complete if you want to. Your responses will hopefully provide valuable information for your co-presenter to use in writing the ceremony.

Finally, I have a template script I can provide to your co-presenter to use as a starting point. It outlines the sections of the ceremony they have to write. I also have all the legal bits included in the right places.

Extra: if it turns out you need me to write the script, I can definitely do that, it just costs more 🙂 Click here to see my current pricing for co-presenting a wedding.

Working with your co-presenter

Before co-presenting the wedding ceremony it’s important that I check the script to make sure it’s legally compliant. I can also provide light feedback on the script if I think it’s needed. I usually ask your co-presenter to email me the script they’ve written ahead of a Zoom meeting. I’ve then got time to check the script and make any notes before meeting with them to work through it together.

I don’t spend much time coaching your co-presenter in how to present. You have chosen this person because they’re important to you. You’ve hopefully also chosen someone who has some presentation skills and will feel comfortable standing in front of all your guests! So the time I spend with your co-presenter is all about making sure the script is going to work.

Extra: if you want me to spend more time coaching your co-presenter, I can absolutely do that, it just costs more. If you want me to attend your rehearsal, you guessed it, it costs more 🙂 Click here to see my current pricing.

On the day

On the day of the wedding I’ll turn up half an hour before the ceremony. I’ll bring my PA equipment along so you can all be heard by the guests. I’ll also happily play your ceremony music through my PA as long as you let me know what songs you want a week before.

I’ll meet you both (separately is fine) before the ceremony starts to sign the Declaration of No Legal Impediment to Marriage. We’ll get started when you’re ready!

The co-presenter will open the ceremony with any pre-processional housekeeping.

Once the processional has been completed I will jump in to:

• introduce myself as the authorised celebrant
• explain that I am there to make sure the wedding is all legal
• recite the Monitum
• introduce and hand over to your co-presenter.

That’s it! I don’t have to speak again at all during the ceremony.

I’ll hang out close enough to the ceremony space to watch the ceremony and hear you say your legal vows (and to be able to jump in if anything goes wrong). I love watching other people deliver ceremonies. Often co-presenters come up with a new way of doing something that I haven’t thought of!

I’ll play the music as required.

When it’s time to sign the certificates I’ll be back over with you to point where to sign and manage that process.

Then I’ll jump out again and get ready to play the music for the recessional!

Once the ceremony is over, I’ll grab a quick selfie with you and your co-presenter, then head home to register your marriage.

If you think this sounds awesome, get in touch with me to today to discuss co-presenting a wedding ceremony!