Religion in a civil funeral
All I Ever Really Needed to Know I Learned in Kindergarten wedding readingExchanging rings in the wedding ceremony
We’ve reached the pinnacle of the wedding ceremony. You’ve exchanged both the legal vows and your personal vows (if you want) and now it’s time to exhange rings. Exchanging rings in the wedding ceremony is your opportunity to give each other a gift that your partner will wear for the rest of their lives. But where did this tradition come from and how does it work?
The tradition of exchanging wedding rings
Wedding rings are the external symbol of the vows you have made to each other. They tell the world that you are married. Created in a perfect circle, they signify that your love for each other will remain forever, without end. The tradition of exchanging rings dates all the way back to ancient Egypt, ancient Greece, and ancient Rome.
Wedding rings are usually worn on the fourth finger (called the ring finger) of the left hand. This is likely because of the traditional belief in vena amoris, literally vein of love, which suggested there was a vein running from that finger directly to the heart. Spoiler alert: there is no such vein, but it’s a nice story. In some countries, such as Denmark and India, the wedding ring is often worn on the ring finger of the right hand. Some people just feel more comfortable with the ring on their right hand. Honestly, there’s no actual rule or law here. Wear your wedding ring wherever you want.
Do I have to wear a wedding ring?
Absolutely not! You can not wear a wedding ring at all! Rings are not a legal requirement. You can get married without them. Maybe you’re not a jewellery person. Perhaps you’re a tradie working with your hands all day and a ring would get in the way (although “tradie rings” now exist). Maybe you’d rather a different gift to symbolise your vows. It’s completely up to you!
Exchanging rings in the wedding ceremony
So how does the ring exchange work in the ceremony?
Generally the ring exchange occurs either after or during the vow exchange.
During the vow exchange
If you’re only saying the legal vows, you’ll probably repeat those after me, and I’ll hold the microphone for you. You can definitely exhange your rings at the same time then. Also this is a nice way to do it because saying the legal vows is the moment you become married. Your guests don’t know that, but they do recognise the symbolism of the rings. So putting the rings on at the moment you actually get married is lovely!
After the vow exchange
There’s two reasons for exchanging rings after the vows.
1. If you’re sharing personal vows, I print them on a card for you to read from. I also organise you to hold the microphone and then I get out of the way. You’re in a lovely little bubble with your partner while you say those vows. If you’re holding a vow card and a microphone, there’s no way you can also juggle a ring! So we’ll do the ring exchange after the vows.
2. You might want to say something about what the rings represent to you while you exchange them. I have lots of ring ceremony wording options you can choose from. In this case you’ll say your vows, then we’ll do the ring exchange with me holding the microphone and you repeating after me.
I promise I will be there to give you all the instructions necessary to make it as seamless as possible!
What if the rings won’t go on?
Don’t worry, this happens at nearly every wedding ceremony. When you’re nervous, your hands sweat, and your fingers might swell a bit. It can sometimes be a bit trickier than expected to get those rings on. I’ll just tell you to give the ring a bit of a twist, and that will generally help! I’ve never had a ring not go on at all – we always get there in the end 🙂
Do you think you’ll be exchanging rings in your wedding ceremony?
More information
Click here to find an overview of a traditional Australian wedding ceremony.
Read all the posts in my series about Australian wedding ceremonies here.
Find all the posts in my series about marriage legalities here.