Involving kids in your wedding ceremony
I LOVE including kids in wedding ceremonies. Whether the marriage is creating a blended family or binding an existing family, I think it’s important to consider involving the kids. Some people seem to think that the wedding ceremony is about the adults only. I just don’t accept this. To me, children are an absolutely integral part of a loving family unit, and if family and love are not being celebrated at a wedding, what is?
Some couples also want to involve other children in their wedding ceremony, such as nieces and nephews. All of these suggestions work for those kids too!
There are so many ways of including children in wedding ceremonies, and which one/s you choose will depend on:
- how many children there are
- whether they’re your own. your partner’s, or someone else’s, and
- how old the children are.
Here are just some of the ideas I present to my couples who want to include children in their ceremony.
Family certificate
You can all sign a Family Certificate. Kids can’t sign the official marriage certificate. But I can order a beautiful commemoration certificate that can be signed by everyone. Some people like to sign this family certificate in their married name so that it’s the same as the rest of their family member’s names.
The processional
The kids can walk the bride down the aisle.
Unity sand ritual
You can include them as part of a unity sand ceremony. Kids love playing with coloured sand. What better way to represent the blending of two families than by pouring beautiful coloured sand into a lovely vase to keep forever?
Hand fasting ritual
You can include them as part of a hand fasting ritual. One of my brides told me a strong driver behind their marriage was that they wanted to “tie the family together”. She, her husband-to-be, and their two kids each chose their favourite coloured ribbon. We used the four ribbons in a hand fasting ritual that included all four family members.
Wedding party
The children can act as ring bearers, flower girls, junior groomsmen and junior bridesmaids. I adore it when the little ones bring up the rings for Mummy and Daddy to exchange.
Readings
If they’re old enough, they can read a poem. There are also plenty of children’s books that are perfect for weddings.
Gifts
You may wish to exchange gifts with your children during the wedding ceremony. A beautiful piece of jewellery that reminds them of this special day can be just as important to your kids as your wedding rings are to you.
Ceremony booklets
The children can hand out ceremony booklets to the guests on arrival (if you’re having them).
Blow bubbles/throw rose petals 
They can blow bubbles or throw rose petals during the ceremony and photos.
Vows
You may like to make vows to the children. However I don’t suggest asking a child to answer a question or make a vow to the adult. Kids can be unpredictable and you just never know what might come out of their mouths! This is also not about promising to be the child’s new parent. It’s about promising to be there for them, to support them, and to love them no matter what. I have some sample vows available if you need some inspiration!
Including your kids in your wedding ceremony by giving them a role to play on the day is a lovely way of reminding them how important they are in your family. I strongly encourage it!
More information
Click here to find an overview of a traditional Australian wedding ceremony.
Click on this link to find all the posts in my series about Australian wedding ceremonies.
Click on this link to find all the posts in my series about marriage legalities.
***Originally posted 09/03/2015, updated 01/09/2023***