Opening music at a funeral
Music is important in life in general, but music at a funeral is crucial for several reasons. We’re going to take a look at those reasons in this post, specifically focusing on the opening music in the ceremony.
A definition: when I talk about the opening music, I’m talking about the music that plays at the beginning of the formal ceremony. The music that is playing as guests enter the ceremony space is pre-ceremony music (sometimes we call it chapel music). It’s generally instrumental, fairly soft, sometimes classical or sometimes instrumental versions of pop songs. Most of all it’s inoffensive background sound, meant to be soothing and welcoming. We’re not talking about that pre-ceremony music here. We’re talking about the piece of music that the family have chosen to open the formal proceedings.
I talk about “music” because it could be a song, it could be a hymn, or it could be a piece of classical music. It could be upbeat or slow. It could be sad or happy. There are absolutely no rules when it comes to funeral music! I recommend families choose music that was important to their person and/or that remind them of their person. If their person wasn’t really into music, I have some suggestions that work well for pretty much anyone.
As always in this series, everything in this post is relevant for memorial ceremonies as well as funeral ceremonies.
Setting the mood
The opening music at a funeral is often more sombre in nature, and that’s okay. A funeral is generally a sombre occasion. Even if the person has lived a long life and we’re celebrating them, it’s still sad that they’re gone. So people tend to use their saddest music selection to open the ceremony. It sets the mood for saying goodbye to someone.
Music can give us implicit permission to feel the emotions that may be bubbling beneath the surface. Music often brings forth all kinds of emotions, and if there’s anywhere it’s okay to experience them, a funeral is it. It also activates empathy and support, and may provide the catalyst mourners need to provide comfort to each other.
Triggering memories
Have you ever heard a song and been transported right back to a moment from your past? Music has a powerful ability to bring up memories, whether sad ones or happy ones. Remembering a loved one and specific times we spent with them is a huge part of a funeral ceremony. Music can help us to access those memories.
Signalling it’s time to begin
This is a purely practical reason for including music at the opening of a ceremony: it tells people we’re about to get started.
At a wedding the celebrant will often speak before the opening music starts. That doesn’t usually happen at a funeral. At a funeral, the opening music (played at a louder volume than the pre-ceremony music) is the cue or the signal to the guests that we’re about to get started, so please take your seats and stop talking.
A little side note if you’re interested
Here’s a little story that I often relate to my celebrancy students about the importance of the opening music for signalling the beginning of the ceremony. It may not surprise you to know that I was a drama kid at high school. At the end of Year 12 I was lucky enough to go on a drama tour of England with my school. We did was a workshop with a Shakespearean actor on the stage at the Globe Theatre in London (was was utterly thrilling). He taught us something important about Shakespeare’s plays that I find relevant to the opening music at a funeral.
In the 16th century, when Shakespeare was writing, there was no electricity. There were therefore no theatre lights to dim to signal the show was about to start, as we experience in modern theatres. So how did the audience know it was time to be quiet? An actor would walk onto the stage and start reciting the prologue. You’ll notice if you read any of Shakespeare’s plays that the prologue sets the scene for the play and provides an overview of what’s going to happen. It’s not crucial to the plot, and it doesn’t matter if you don’t hear it all. The Shakespearean prologue is therefore designed not to provide crucial information to the audience, but to tell everyone hey, we’re starting, it’s time to be quiet and pay attention.
To me, the opening music of the funeral is the same. Yes, it’s important for setting the mood and triggering memories, but on a practical level it’s also a signalling device to tell everyone to settle down because we’re getting started.
There’s lots of reasons we open a funeral ceremony with music; can you think of any others?