Religion in a civil funeral
Civil funerals in Australia are for people who don’t want their final farewell to be held in a religious institution. This might be because:
- they weren’t religious
- they didn’t attend religious gatherings regularly
- they had a difficult relationship with organised religion.
I’m sure there are probably other reasons I haven’t considered.
But is there a place in a civil funeral for religious content? Absolutely! That’s one of the beautiful things of having a civil celebrant conduct your loved one’s funeral; we can pretty much do anything you want us to! If you want some religion in your loved one’s funeral, we can absolutely make that happen.
Here’s the thing though: I’m an atheist. I often suggest to families that if their loved one was part of a religious community (but for whatever reason they’re still choosing a civil funeral) it may be more meaningful for them to have someone from that religious community present the reading (the chosen content is generally a reading). It’s up to them! I’m happy to read or do whatever the family wants me to.
Let’s also note that it’s pretty unusual for me to work on a funeral for someone who, if they had any religious leaning at all, was anything other than Christian. If someone was Hindu, Buddhist, Sikh, Muslim, or any of the other multitudes of world religions, it’s far more likely in my experience that they will be having a religious funeral with a religious celebrant. (Of course I’m happy to read content from any religion if that’s what the family wants.)
So when I talk about religious content with my families, I start by asking whether they want to “include any religion in the ceremony”? That gives me a good starting point, but if people need some further prompting I will generally offer Christian Bible readings.
Christian Bible readings
There are two Bible readings that I always offer to the families I work with if they want religion in the funeral:
- The Lord’s Prayer (Our Father who art in Heaven…) – I usually put this towards the beginning of the ceremony
- Psalm 23 (The Lord is my shepherd…) – I usually put this towards the end of the ceremony
There are a LOT of different versions of both these verses. If a family asks me to include either or both, I tend to use the Traditional Ecumenical Version of The Lord’s Prayer (used in many Catholic and Protestant churches), and the King James Version of Psalm 23. I personally quite like the poetry of these versions, and they’re the versions that are familiar to me from growing up with a somewhat religious education. If a family changes one of them to a different version, that’s okay too. And I know not all Christian denominations use the final three lines (the doxology) of The Lord’s Prayer – I’ll pop it in the script and they can delete it if they want.
The Lord’s Prayer
Our Father, who art in Heaven,
hallowed be thy name;
thy kingdom come,
thy will be done
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread,
and forgive us our trespasses,
as we forgive those who trespass against us;
and lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.For thine is the kingdom,
and the power, and the glory,
for ever and ever. Amen.
Psalm 23
The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.
He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.
Other Christian Bible readings
There are other Christian Bible readings I’ve encountered at funerals too, such as:
- John 14:1-3: Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe also in me. My Father’s house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am.
- Ecclestiastes 3:1-8: To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; a time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; a time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; a time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.
As with all the elements of a funeral, you get to choose what works for you and your loved one.
Readings/poems with religious sentiments
Often someone will want to speak but they just can’t find the words. That’s where readings and poems can come in handy. Many of the funeral readings in my collection have religious sentiments; sometimes people are happy with that, sometimes they’re not. If you’re looking for a funeral reading or poem with religious overtones, check out my collections:
- Readings mentioning heaven
- Readings mentioning God
- Readings about being reunited with loved ones
- Readings mentioning angels
Other religious content
If you have other ideas for including religion in a funeral, I’m keen to hear them, and happy to facilitate them. As always, it’s your funeral for your loved one, I’m just there to make it happen.