She Is Gone funeral reading
Here’s the next in my series of funeral readings you might like to consider for your loved one’s funeral or memorial ceremony. Some are sad, some are uplifting, some are comforting; there’s something for everyone here.
Readings are absolutely not a compulsory part of a funeral or memorial ceremony. Sometimes family members or friends desperately want to speak at their loved one’s funeral, but they haven’t got the wherewithal to write something themselves. Readings are a perfect stand-in: your emotions and feelings right there on the page ready for you to contribute.
Remember readings can be adapted – if your favourite reading is written for him, you can change it to her! If it’s written for Mum, you can change it to Dad or Grandma or Grandpa, whatever fits for you. I just make sure to introduce such a reading as an adaptation.
She Is Gone / He Is Gone, by David Harkins
This is one of the most famous, most used funeral poems, and it’s not even in its original form. I’ve had it used for men and women, just change the pronouns. It was read at the Queen Mother’s funeral in 2002, after which there was a mad scramble to discover who’d actually written it. First of all, here’s the poem in the form it is generally used in today.
You can shed tears that she is gone
Or you can smile because she has lived
You can close your eyes and pray that she will come back
Or you can open your eyes and see all that she has left
Your heart can be empty because you can’t see her
Or you can be full of the love that you shared
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday
Or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday
You can remember her and only that she is gone
Or you can cherish her memory and let it live on
You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back
Or you can do what she would want: smile, open your eyes, love and go on.
Remember Me, by David Harkins
This is the piece of prose David Harkins actually wrote in 1981, in longing for a lost love. You can use whichever version speaks to you more!
Do not shed tears when I have gone but smile instead because I have lived. Do not shut your eyes and pray to God that I’ll come back but open your eyes and see all that I have left behind. I know your heart will be empty because you cannot see me but still I want you to be full of the love we shared. You can turn your back on tomorrow and live only for yesterday or you can be happy for tomorrow because of what happened between us yesterday. You can remember me and grieve that I have gone or you can cherish my memory and let it live on. You can cry and lose yourself, become distraught and turn your back on the world or you can do what I want – smile, wipe away the tears, learn to love again and go on.