Things you CAN do in your wedding ceremony – Part 3
Recently I wrote about the things you DON’T have to include in your wedding ceremony, no matter what you’ve seen on TV or what someone else told you! This time I’m taking those traditional wedding components from the last post and suggesting alternatives.
I’ve got so many of these amazing different suggestions that I’ve decided to split this post. Check out the other instalments here, here, and here!
You don’t have to include any readings
When I turn to the readings page in my ceremony builder booklet, couples’ faces often fall or their eyes glaze over. All they’ve ever heard before were boring, long, complicated (often religious) readings. You don’t have to have anybody do any type of reading at all.
However if there are people you’d like to include in your ceremony, a “reading” may be the easiest way to do this. Feel free to have them read whatever you like:
all work really well. Or you could ask all the junior members of your community what love means to them, and read out their descriptions – adorable AND inclusive!
Check out my Awesome Wedding Readings series for more different ideas.
You don’t have to include any symbolic rituals (such as sand or candle ceremonies)
Absolutely not required in any way, shape or form! Symbolic rituals can be sweet and fun, but please make sure you’ve got a really great reason for including one. Don’t just do it because you saw it at another wedding and thought you had to include it. For instance, one of my brides really wanted to include a hand fasting ritual including their kids, because to her the marriage ceremony was about “tying together” their little family – perfect reason! Or choose something different and fun, like this unity sandwich ritual!
You don’t have to say “I do” at any point in the ceremony
This is the one that causes the most interest when I bring it up in meetings: there is absolutely nothing in Australian law that requires you to say I Do at any point in the ceremony. Nothing! We can definitely include a traditional “asking” to which you answer I Do if this is important to you, but it’s completely optional. Why not be different and come up with a fun question for each to answer I Do to?
You don’t have to say personalised vows (although I totally encourage you to)
There is only one sentence that the couple must each say in order to be legally married. After that you can include some personalised vows if you’d like to, but there is absolutely no need to do so if you don’t feel comfortable speaking in front of people. I’ve had couples write beautiful letters to each other with all the things they would say in their vows. I’ve had couples write incredible words that they’ve asked me to read on their behalf. I’ve had yet other couples who’ve wanted absolutely nothing personal included in their ceremony at all, and that’s totally fine!
I hope it’s become apparent that the whole point here is that there are next to no rules, just what is meaningful for you as a couple for your special day. I am flexible and adaptable enough that I can cope with any idea you throw at me, and I firmly believe that marriage ceremonies should be personalised, meaningful, and all about YOU.
***Originally posted 23/04/2016, updated 01/11/2021***