Things you CAN do in your wedding ceremony – Part 4
Recently I wrote about the things you DON’T have to include in your wedding ceremony, no matter what you’ve seen on TV or what someone else told you! This time I’m taking those traditional wedding components from the last post and suggesting different options.
I’ve got so many of these amazing alternative suggestions that I’ve decided to split this post. Check out the other instalments here, here, and here!
You don’t have to exchange rings
Wedding rings are beautiful reminders of your wedding vows that many people treasure forever. But some people just aren’t jewellery people, and that’s okay! There are heaps of options here. You could just skip the rings/gift exchange altogether. One of you could have a ring and the other not. You could get tattoos, whether on your fingers or elsewhere. You could gift something totally different, whether it be a alternative piece of jewellery or something else that will be special to your person. Do whatever works for you!
I don’t have to pronounce you husband and wife
Obviously if you’re not a heterosexual couple I can go with husband and husband (or husbands squared!), wife and wife (or wifes for life!), but what about a totally alternative option? How about I simply pronounce you married? That works for all kinds of couples, and it’s one of my favourites.
You don’t have to kiss
Not all couples are comfortable with public displays of affection, and that’s absolutely okay. It might be for:
- cultural reasons
- religious reasons, or
- simply because it historically hasn’t been safe for couples like you to kiss in public (although I hope at your own wedding you’ll feel safe to do whatever feels good).
I’ve had couples simply hug, kiss each other on the cheek, or even shake hands. I’m yet to have anyone take me up on my suggestion of a backflip, but I live in hope…
Your witnesses don’t have to be your maid of honour and your best man
I’m guessing most people choose their chief attendants to be their official witnesses because they’re their best friends, but this is not a requirement. You could choose your mums, siblings who aren’t in the wedding party, or anyone else who is important to you. No rules other than that they need to appear to be over 18 years of age and they need to be able to hear and understand the ceremony! I just need to know their full legal names before the ceremony so I can fill in the paperwork.
You don’t have to be presented as “Mr and Mrs Surname”
You may not be changing your name. Maybe you haven’t decided yet whether you’re changing your name. You may just not care for this tradition of being presented as Mr and Mrs. Why not simply be presented as the newly married Name and Name? Or choose something completely different. I once had a couple ask me to present them as “The Gays at The Gables”! Okay then!
I hope it’s become apparent that the whole point here is that there are next to no rules, just what is meaningful for you as a couple for your special day. I am flexible and adaptable enough that I can cope with any idea you throw at me, and I firmly believe that marriage ceremonies should be personalised, meaningful, and all about YOU.
***Originally posted 21/05/2016, updated 01/12/2021***