Housekeeping in a funeral ceremony
I know, I know, this is a weird title for a section in a funeral ceremony. “Housekeeping”? What on earth does vacuuming have to do with funerals? We’re not talking about cleaning the house or making your bed in this section, I promise! In this context we’re using housekeeping to refer to general information or tasks to ensure the next bit of the funeral runs smoothly. I use this section to explain to the guests what’s going to happen next.
I always put the funeral housekeeping after the reflection section. It’s close enough to the end of the ceremony that people will still remember the instructions I’ve given when we’ve finished.
There are a few things I can cover in this section, depending on what’s happening after the ceremony.
Thanks
First, I thank the guests on behalf of the family, not only for their attendance at the funeral, but also for their acts of support, their expressions of love, and their words of kindness.
Invitation to the burial
If the deceased is being buried after the ceremony, I will explain this to the guests during the funeral housekeeping. I will invite mourners to attend the graveside for the final farewell if the family is okay with that. If the family prefers to have a private burial, I will ask mourners to go directly to refreshments, and note that the family will join them after the burial.
Invitation to refreshments
Next, I invite them to join the family after the ceremony for refreshments, and direct them to where that will be held. It may be in the funeral home or crematorium’s refreshment room, or it may be at a different venue altogether. Often the venue will be printed on the order of service booklet, but I still like to provide the instructions for everyone to hear anyway.
In some cases the family decides not to host refreshments at all, so I just leave this bit out.
Reminder to sign the memorial book
The memorial book is the one people sign to say they’ve attended. Some families appreciate having the reminder of who was in attendance on the day. Funerals can be extremely overwhelming and I often hear families say it was all a bit of a blur, and they’re not really sure who was there. The memorial book provides that reminder.
Some families just want guests to sign their name. Some want to provide the opportunity to write a message or a memory of the deceased. Whatever works for you is great.
Part of my funeral housekeeping for families who have a memorial book will be to remind guests to sign it if they didn’t have a chance to when they arrived.
Donations
Some families choose to ask for donations to a special cause in lieu of flowers. If this is the case, I will announce it in my funeral housekeeping. “If anyone would like to make a donation in X’s name, the family has asked that it be directed to Charity.” The funeral director will often provide envelopes with space for entering credit card details, or a QR code that leads directly to the charity’s website.
That’s it! That’s everything I usually include in my funeral housekeeping, depending on what is happening after the ceremony.